Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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