I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
