if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
