suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
