Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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