the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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