so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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