so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
