No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
