Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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