I'm gonna have a badass scar
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
