Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
nutella sex= disaster
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize