We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
