She's JV to your varsity
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
