yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
