East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
