If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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