Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
