Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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