whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
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