How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
