I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
