I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
