I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
