stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
