i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize