i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I can tuck mytits in my pants
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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