y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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