She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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