How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
