Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
