Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
