so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
