Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
