Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
