Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
