I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
