Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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