They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
