I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
