420 ftw
Where did you get a picture of my penis
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
