Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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