idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want her autograph on my taint
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
