ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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