can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
