Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
