No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
His nipple licking is glorious
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