Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
