Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
