At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You need a sexual gate keeper
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
