my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
