You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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