I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
