You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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