hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
