Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize