Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The power of my boobs compel you
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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