just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
