It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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